Re-creating liminal spaces.

Whilst struggling with: prayer, worship, pastoral care (both giving and receiving), a few things have occured to me.

There are times in our lives and things that we do that occur in a kind of liminal space. A kind of in between place that is real at the time, perhaps very profound, or meaningful, but it is just that, a between place. These liminal moments are a one off and cannot be repeated and often our attempts to re-create them will be fruitless and or disappointing. And what I've learned from this is that out of these liminal moments we must make new and fresh expressions of them not try to re-create them. Imagine for a moment you are an artist, the oil painting you create is a one off masterpiece, (even if no-one else can see it!) It has been created out of your heart, Any attempt to repaint the same picture will not be the same and a copy or print is just not quite the same as an oil painting. The creation of the original art is a liminal moment.

We often have the same problem with our spiritual lives, when we are struggling we spend our time longing and searching to re-create a previous encounter with God that was profound or meaningful, instead of creating a fresh and new relationship with Him for every moment. This may be because its hard, but then no-one ever said it was an easy journey free from trials and pain, and why should it be!! Our saviour's journey was hardly free from trials and pain, yet it is through Christ's trials and pain that we can and should renew our relationhiip with God.

This problem also occurs in our worship sometimes. That visit to Iona, Easter People, or a particularly moving Taize service, or the service at the end of a quiet retreat, in some respects are liminal moments and one of our problems is that we want to re-create this for our congregations, I question whether this is possible and instead what we should be doing is creating a new expereince. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't use the resources we have picked upthrough our own worship - I believe of course we should, they are often a rich and full of beautiful language, but we should be creating a new space out of those resources not trying to re-create a previous experience.

So I suppose I must try and learn to celebrate the liminal moments in life, be grateful to God for what I an learn from them, Stand in awe at the created art as it were. but not try to re-create it. Instead try to use each encounter with God as a new and fresh expression of my faith and when my faith is weak, it doesn't mean I have to search for God, in a previous encounter. I can meet Him where I am, even when that feels completely inadequate to be His servant. God only fully knows what's in my heart.

Monday 4th December

Well yet another week has past! Still not quite myself although improving. The days all seem to blur into one splodge of time! Perhaps if I were blogging every day like Sally instead of once a week it might help define the days, who knows? I haven't been very good at filling in my journal either, it hasn't slipped completely but I was doing it every day.

I have been praying the morning office, using various versions: Methodist worship book, BCP, and Common Worship. I have recently started a 4 weekly cylce of morning prayer from
The Divine Office, sometimes called 'The (Roman) Breviary. I like the language, I like the fact that it is relativley easy to follow the instructions - I do like idiot proof instructions!! I am also lucky to have a friend who has also commited to do the morning prayer from this and although I doubt whether this happens at the same time, It has helped not to feel as though I'm praying alone, particulalry on the days when prayer is more difficult. Of course there is comfort from knowing that somewhere in the world an unknown number of people are also praying the same words.

I was back at work yesterday and led worship in the morning. After some prayer with the steward on duty, I felt able to continue, having first thought that I might struggle. It helped that during the prayers I began to realise that: this is worship, it is for God, it is not about me, it is about praising and glorifying Him and to hear His word.

I preached about being in the wilderness, one of the congregation, said it was comforting to know that I was human, (i'm not sure what she thought I was!!!) but I understood her sentiment, as she followed by saying, it is really helpful when someone has struugled with something and preaches from the heart. I too then can take comfort from the fact that God is in what I do, and perhaps more comforting to know that other people can see that especially when I'm having trouble seeing it myself.


I worked at the prison today, a reasonably tough day, a couple of tough pastoral situations were difficult to deal with. I did have moments with glimmers of hapiness interspersed. One of the inmates I see every monday is reading his way through the classics in the library, so we had an interesting conversation about George Elliot. I helped another guy with his maths homework, that was when I remebered how to do it, It's been a while. And I taught another how to pray the Rosary, he had been given a roseary and a leaflet telling him how to use them. He took a while but eventually admitted that he couldn't read. We went twice round the roseary and he seemed to pick it up Ok. I've never had to teach anyone the Lord's prayer before, we have this kind of expectation that people know it! Although in one of my churches we have it printed on cards in the back of the chair in front in case people need them, so perhaps we are realising that some of this language we take for granted isn't known by the majority anymore!

Still trying to balance work and rest so I can be fully operational as soon as possible. Everyone's thoughts and prayers have really been appreciated.