Depression - The silent illness we never talk about!!

Depression is an illnes, it is not the same as being sad. Everyone feels sad from time to time, sometimes deeply so, (for example after the death of a loved one). Someone suffering from depression may feel sad but they feel persistently so. They do not take pleasure in activities that were once enjoyable. Other physical and mental problems are often experienced including sleep problems, loss of appetite, inability to concentrate, memory problems, and physical aches and pains. People who suffer from this condition often feel worthless, helpless, and hopeless about their ability to fix things. Their waking life is a living nightmare. No matter how hard they try to snap out of it, they feel as though they are falling into an abyss with nothing to hold on to. The smallest mishap, spilling a spot of milk, as it were, becomes the end of the world.

Clinical depression has a strong biological, rather than psychological, basis. Although it can often be brought on by stress, it can strike at any time and sometimes without warning, particulalry if you have suffered from it previously. This can make its onset even more difficult, you may end up questioning yourself, Why am I so unhapy when I dont have too much to be unhappy about? Whats wrong with me? why can't I cope with the ordinary tasks of daily life? Even getting dressed becomes a chore!

This becomes even more acute for me, in my role as a pastoral carer, to be vulnerable and weak in times when you are supposed to be the strong one, makes the onset of another bout of depression even more distressing. That cry of deriliction from the cross becomes very real when you realise that you, yourself are completely helpless! It takes strength and time to admit that you feel completely forsaken by everyone, including God. Old wounds, that you once felt were healed may resurface their ugly head during a time when you feel so uterly abandoned.

I can not imagine what it is like to live with a someone with depression, not much fun I suppose!

So my message is for those of you who live with depression in a family member or a friend, and for those of you who are pastoral carers, try not to feel helpless, there is no quick fix!

It really does help to know that whilst I cannot talk to God for a while, that the prayers continue. And despite not always feeling it myslef, I know somewhere in the depths of me, through the strength of faith of my brothers and sisters in Christ, that He is always present. It is perhaps the imaturity of our faith that prevents us from seeing this. As the hymn by F. Pratt Green says:

When our Confidence is shaken
In beliefs we thought secure;
When the spirit in its sickness
Seeks but cannot find a cure:
God is active in the tensions
Of a faith not yet mature.

Solar systems, void of meaning,
Freeze the spirit into stone;
Always our researches lead us
To the ultimate Unknown:
Faith must die or come full circle
To its Source in God alone.

In the discipline of praying,
When it's hardest to believe;
In the drudgery of caring,
When its not enough to grieve:
Faith, maturing, learns acceptance
Of the insights we receive.

God is love; and he redeems us
In the Christ we crucify:
This is God's eternal answer
To the world's eternal why;
May we in this faith maturing
Be content to live and die!

Part of the healing involves realisation that there is a problem! In the depths of despair there seems no hope, when you admit to yourself that your despair is not your fault, then the light at the end of the tunnel of utterable aloneness, glimers somewhere in the distance!

As carers of friends and family or of congregations all that you can do is to stand in the dark alongside those who are hurting! The occasional hug might help too!

For those of us who suffer from this illness one can only hope that out of the darkness will emerge the wounded healer, whom with the strength of the Holy Spirit can pastor with integrity!